Open letter to Minister Patel

Dear Sir

I’m a big girl. I don’t mean grown up, though at 63 I am that too, I mean sizeable. Summer or winter, I sleep in a short-sleeve T-shirt. I am a frugal person given to travelling light. I own only one sleep T-shirt, which I wash-n-wear. Last time I bought a T-shirt was January 2018 just before an extended cycle trip up the west coast of Africa. The T-shirt, a blue-and-white-stripe number, is way past its sell-by date. It has several tears across the back and a large tear under my right breast. I am in urgent need of a new T-shirt. I am writing to enquire when I might be able to replace my old one.

If I explain to Mr Price that I sleep in the T-shirt, will they be able to sell one to me under “all adult sleepwear”? Or should I lie and say I plan to run in it making it legal under “active wear”?

In the Government Gazette you say “short sleeved t-shirts, where promoted and displayed as under garments for warmth”. I suffer from hot flushes and don’t require much in the way of warm clothing. Will I need also to purchase a jersey to wear over my new T-shirt and, more importantly, will I have to wear the jersey over it in bed?

If this is the case, I wonder also how you plan to check on this. Perhaps some of the old apartheid police who had plenty of practise knocking down private doors to catch people having sex across the colour line, you know, the ones who took in soiled sheets as evidence… perhaps they could give you some pointers.

Hoping for some clarity from you soon.

Regards
Gail Day